It's almost 2 years already now, since my last met with a lovely one girl in canton, and my search for her is still continue until now. Her short name is XJL. I wonder, how this is really happened to me? Who am I? I am just a fool guy you know. Why i am saying that? How come i can't see the truth about love, cares, and like or dislike? How silly i am you know.
It was started in late 2005, when i was living in Canton with my big brother who has been passed away already now in 2008 due to cancer diseases. We live in a condo or apartment in wuyang district. I am accompanied him for medical treatment of his diseases. Every day may job is caring him, because i love him, i done cooking, cleaning the house, go to the market or hyper market for shopping our food supply, driving him to the hospital etc.
My free time is on the late afternoon about 18.00 until midnight, and after that i am going to bed, and start my daily job from make a breakfast etc. During my free time i used to go hanging around by bus because the car is for my brother sake, and i don't want to used it. After all, i really enjoy using bus going everywhere its just a simple way i thought, and if i am confusing in a new area, i can use taxi to go back home.
In the evening when i back home i usually make a phone call or being called by my ex girl friend from our country here. And after that before i go to sleep as usual i am searching internet, watching streaming from radio or television from my country.
The place i used to go for hanging out is starbuck coffee, my favorite place in China Plaza or T mall in Tianhe square. In that place also i met with the girl short named XJL an employee from a cellular phone shop there where i used to buy top up voucher for my cell phone in 4th floor. According to me, she is not pretty enough, but there is something which i called value added of a person. Why i am saying that? As far as i know there is an unwritten rules that a good customer should become an interesting target for the sales girl or employee, because of the commission from the shop owner, and every sales girl/man there must wanted to have a good customer. If necessary they will take his/her friend customer to become their customer. Maybe in their opinion i am is one of the good customer in their shop.
I used to go there every 1 or 2 days to buy that top up card, and couple of times buy and trade my PDA O2 phone. One day when i was there i was served by her, and suddenly one of her sales girl there using chinese language told her to get away and she take over her position, and offer me some cellular staff. I look at XJL and she look upset and move from there... that's the point i got of her value added. She is willing to surrender her good customer to her friend because her friend did not reach the selling point of that day. That is a small kind thing that i didn't find in my ex girl friend so far. So i make up my mind and cancel to buy a new one until the next day because i admire that person and i am going back to down stair to starbuck again to have my another glass of coffee.
When i was have my coffee she is passing by and smile, and ask me is this your place here to fill your free time? And i said yes it is, and we are have a chat until 22.00. And it always, almost everyday i have my time there with her. I treat her as a friend, and when she had free day, she take me to sight seeing around the city by bus or MRT, so i know all of the city there quite well.
When my ex girl came to visit me, i introduce her also to my ex, and my ex is also like her. Short of the story i am very often go and back from my country to canton with my brother.
One day, she visiting me when i was have my coffee time, and said I have something for you as a birthday gift. When i opened it was a new flashdisk. I say thanks and
she said that flash disk is contain my favorite songs and i dedicated to you, its a reflecting of my heart, forgive me if i said i love you.... I was shock for a while...
Then I am only saying to her, I can't accept you, i treat you as a friend, best friend, because i am already get the one, how come i accept you? I like you, but it doesn't mean that i must love you. Am i done something wrong to you? How come you fall in love with me? If i don't have any girl at this moment, i think i am the one who tell you first that i am fall in love with you. Then she said T.T, i saw you don't have any match with her, trust me, you will regret someday. And by the time if you do, then please looking for me, i am waiting for you.
I am not believe her what did she has said to me. Until one day...., I got separated and broken at all cost, she is leaving me....., i didn't hate my ex, it was my fault i love her, but she only cares for me, not love me, how fool i am.
I am only regrets why i must have this situation? Why God is unfair to me? I have lost my brother, my girl, and i just laying on my bed alone every day, doing nothing except sleep and eat.
In a middle of my sadness and loneliness XJL coming to me on my dream, and then i just remember what has she said to me before and it always and always come to my dream and cry, for almost 3 month. I have tried to fly to canton, but found nothing in result.
Well, live must go on, one thing i know is just her apartment that she has move from there long time ago, phone numbers is change, and the last try is just make a blog with the url contain her name, because i know she is like to have surfing over the internet, and i hope someday she will find my blog there (not this blog) by the time she's fraudulently type her name.
God Please Forgive me...
Guangzhou Time
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